As a leader, we are often in a position where we help other people. It is a privilege and responsibility of this kind of a role. But what do you do when you need help? Admitting you need help is a difficult thing to do because it challenges a few unhealthy beliefs people often have about themselves and the role they are in.
Unhealthy Belief #1
“‘I’ can do this”
This first one is deeply rooted in pride or ignorance. To actually believe that you do not need help, when there are clearly problems, means that you have bought into a lie about yourself. As leaders we encourage and even implore people to get help when it is needed, yet when it comes to us personally we struggle. Overcoming our pride in order to get much needed help is essential for health and forward progress. Proverbs 16:18a says, “Pride goes before a fall”. In the case of leadership there are many that are affected once things come undone. One of Paul’s great encouragements in Romans 12:3 is to never think of ourselves more highly than we ought to. We have to be able to be honest in an assessment of ourselves and our circumstances and understand that there are times when ‘we’ can’t do it alone. We all need help from time to time. Being humble enough to admit it and ask for it will save you from certain failure.
Unhealthy belief #2
“Asking for help is a sign of weakness”
As a leader we like to portray and convey a position of strength and toughness. With this comes a belief a very unhealthy and unrealistic perception of help. In the Australian culture there is often the attitude of, ‘drink some concrete, toughen up and get on with it’, but needing help does not mean you are weak. How far would Moses have gotten without Aaron? Where would David have been without the help of his mighty men? Time after time in the Bible we see people needing help and working together. None of these stories belittles or lessens the stature of the main character. In fact, it only adds to their strength because they are able to accomplish much more because they had help. Getting people in your world to help you is a sign of strength and wisdom, not weakness.
Unhealthy belief #3
“Nobody understands my situation”
This kind of thinking leads to isolation, which is very dangerous considering we have an enemy who is seeking to destroy us (1 Peter 5:8). Like the lions of the Serengeti, the tactic of the enemy is to isolate people, where they have no chance against a much stronger adversary. When we believe that there is nobody who could imagine our situation or circumstance then we believe a lie because what you’re in right now is not new! There have been people who have walked where you are walking right now and their advice and guidance may just save your life, marriage, church, or role. It is humbling to reach out for help, but until you do, you leave yourself vulnerable.
Maybe you find yourself being described here. Can I encourage you today to take a step and do something about it. Believe that this is a ‘God moment’ right now and that there is help for what you’re going through if you would just reach out. We would love to work with you and maybe play a part in getting you the help you need or connecting you to someone who can. Don’t let another day go by. Take a moment to take the Pastoral Health Check we have on the front page of our website (link here) as a first step in the right direction. May God bless and encourage you in His love.